Meatchicken Joke Thread!

[SternRulz]

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. There was a graduate from Ohio State, Notre Dame, Penn State and Michigan. Each claimed to be the most loyal fan from his alma mater.

As they climbed higher and higher, their claims developed into an argument that continued all the way to the top of the mountain. Once there, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting as he fell to his doom, "This is for the Fighting Irish!"

Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain, screaming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"

Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over to the edge and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" -- and pushed the Wolverine off the mountain.

Go Bucks!

[SternRulz]

A guy in a bar leans over to a guy nearby and says, "Wanna hear a good Michigan joke?"

The second guy replies, "Well, before you tell a Michigan joke, you might want to know that I'm a Michigan graduate. I'm 6' 7" and weigh 280 pounds. The guy next to me is 6' 4", weighs 225 and he's a Michigan grad. The one next to him is 6' 5", weighs 315 and he's a Michigan grad. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "Well, heck no -- not if I have to explain it three times."

[SternRulz]

The teacher announces to her first grade class that she is a fan of the Michigan football team. She asks for a show of hands by those who are also Michigan fans.

Many of the children aren't really sure what "Michigan fan" means. However, wanting their teacher's approval, their little hands fly into the air.

There's one exception. A little girl named Amy doesn't go along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she didn't raise her hand.

"Because I'm not a Michigan fan," she reports.

"Well," the teacher inquires, "what are you?"

"I'm an Ohio State Buckeye Fan," Amy replies.

A little bothered by this, the teacher asks, "And just why are you an Ohio State Fan?"

"Well, my Daddy's a Buckeye fan. My Mommy's a Buckeye fan. So, I'm a Buckeye fan, too."

Now the teacher is becoming angry. "Those aren't good reasons, Amy," she insists. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot? What would you be then?"

Amy smiles and says, "Then, I'd be a Michigan fan."

[john gault]

How do you get a Michigan grad off your porch?


Pay for the pizza

[Mr.Deedee]

Why is it that Michiganders don't like to eat M & M's?



They don't like to peel them.

[shortbev]

It was the final play of the Ohio State / Michigan game...

Michigan had the ball...it was fourth and goal on the 2 yard line...if Michigan went for the field goal, it would tie the game...a td would win it...

Lloyd looks up to heaven and prays..."Lord, what should i do??? please give me some guidance...

from heaven, he hears a voice say "run the ball for the touch down..."

wow!!! thought Lloyd...so that is what they did...they tried for the td...and did not make it...

thus Ohio State won the game by 3 points...

Lloyd was beside himself in despair...he prayed again "but, Lord, you told me to go for it. Why did you call that play???"

He heard God say "I don't know...Woody, why did we call that play???":dance: :2thumbsup:

[shortbev]

A stockbroker, on his way home from work in Columbus, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems much worse than usual."

He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars.

The officer replies, "Lloyd Carr is depressed, so he stopped the team bus and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He is tired of losing to Ohio State every year and the university has cut back on his recruiting budget. We're taking up a collection for him."

The stockbroker asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replies, "About 75 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."

[proud to be]

How do you make Michigan cookies???


Put 'em in a big bowl, and beat 'em for 3 hours!

[MR EMPTY PANTS]

what kind of car does jim tressel drive?

A LLOYD CARR

[SternRulz]

Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?


A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.


General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

[SternRulz]

Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking on a beach when Carr trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection, it turns out to be a genie's lamp. “Who disturbs me?” the genie asks. Tressel and Carr say they're both to blame. “Then you will each get one wish,” the genie says. Carr asks to go first, saying: “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid Ohioans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish and Carr is instantly whisked away to this new paradise. The genie turns to Tressel and says, “Now it's your turn.” Tressel says: “Fill it with water.”

[SternRulz]

A guy named Bob received a free ticket to the Ohio State vs. Michigan game from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrived at the stadium, he discovered the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium way back in the south stands. About halfway through the first quarter, he noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field at the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way down to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The man said, “No.” Very excited to have such a great seat for the game, Bob said, “That's incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Ohio State-Michigan game and not use?” The man replied, “Actually, that seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Ohio State game we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967.” Bob said, “Well, that's really sad. Couldn't you find a friend or a relative to come with you?” “No,” the man replied. “They're all at the funeral.”

[SternRulz]

Q: What's the difference between a litter full of puppies and Lloyd Carr?
A: Eventually the puppies quit whining.

Q: What did the Michigan fan say to the Ohio State Fan?
A: Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?


An OSU fan amused himself by scaring Michigan fans on the side of the road. He would swerve as if to hit them, and then swerve back just in time. One day, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled over. He asked "Can I give you a lift?" "God bless you my son" replied the priest. They continued down the road and the driver saw a Wolverine fan up ahead, instinctively, he swerved, narrowly missing the guy, but he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he remembered the priest. He turned and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Michigan fan." "That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."

[TIGER]

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. There was a graduate from Ohio State, Notre Dame, Penn State and Michigan. Each claimed to be the most loyal fan from his alma mater.

As they climbed higher and higher, their claims developed into an argument that continued all the way to the top of the mountain. Once there, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting as he fell to his doom, "This is for the Fighting Irish!"

Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain, screaming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"

Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over to the edge and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" -- and pushed the Wolverine off the mountain.

Go Bucks!


:lol:

[TigerBuckeye313]

A recent graduate of Ohio State moved to Dearborn, Michigan after accepting a great job. After becoming a citizen of Michigan she felt almost as if she betrayed her Ohioan background and ancestry. She had an apartment with a Michigan address and she winced whenever she looked at her Michigan driver's license. When she registered her vehicle she had an idea.

When her personalized license plate arrived for her car she beamed while she affixed them to her car. She was so proud she sent an instant message to her father right away. He was a proud Ohio State alumnus as well.

She typed, "Daddy I get my new personalized plates for my Mini today.

They are University of Michigan plates!"

"WHAT?" he replied, "You have to be joking"

"Nope, I'm totally serious. Let me send you the image."

Her father couldn't stop laughing after he viewed the picture of her car.

http://tk1.storage.msn.com/x1p0vcOMR5sRSdcQCn695dg8ODXrJNxaUzSKx3qJ1uDkySNcdo 4NVelDG84xCvc495AS3Z9Th9Z8gj_28SLDIB7R-GW3Xv58fAk3G7NHkNc4J8BoVYcbIdHjvxCcv7xLz1RCq9_MEIZ wptx44FrH-cpntbhgmF8YnGH

[tiger embalmer]

GO BUCKS