obie7661
02-15-2007, 12:41 PM
Elevated Security Alerts:
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."The only two higher levels in France
are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
In other news--- French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney(AP), Paris. The French
Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks
at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display
at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at
a nearby French army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."The only two higher levels in France
are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
In other news--- French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney(AP), Paris. The French
Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks
at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display
at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at
a nearby French army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.